Dramatic, eh? Think again. The trinkling sound of the summertime is a cantankerous onslaught of these duds, and will most likely draw more than a few of my fellow cynics away from all the hype trains rolling down the tracks, just because they disappoint. MAYA, The Five Ghosts, Omni, Disconnect From Desire, King of the Beach, White Crosses, Infinite Arms - all failures in several aspects. And this is just a top-of-the-head list. Imagine the monumental failures found within the collective scene. We've gotten so far along in the summertime with so few greats that it just seems to fly by. Worst case scenario: Mediocrity hurls us into its abyss; we lay stranded without hope. Until now.
We've begun a new chapter in the book of reviewrinserepeat (please call it rrr), and it only seems fitting to count the very few essentials - this year's collective resistance against the monumental, purge-worthy pieces of shit on the market. First up, Dom's Sun Bronzed Beach Gods. With the "it's so sexxxxxxxxxxyyyyyy" hook and the constant "you'll be listening to us at the clubs, no doubt" barrage of electro hooks, it just screams fun fun fun in the hot summer sun. Another? Sleigh Bell's debut offering to the NOIZ gods, entitled Treats. And what a treat it is. Saccharine vocals over layers and layers of lurching axes decorates another exciting nu-pop wave.
But what about those metal records? Well, Axe to Fall is something we're all aware of. So we'll settle for Twilight's Monument to Time End, a black metal maelstrom, aptly released right before the summer waves settled on the beach (literally, metal you can play on the beach.) Listen up before it's too late to capture those hateful, imagistic lyrics and roaring vocals and think "wow I can imagine sunkissed beach gods dying to this!" And, on the opposite side of the spectrum, we have pop LPs and indie predictions. While most of us bitchforks are happy to not care about material things, like a social status... Janelle fucking Monae released The ArchAndroid (Suites II and III of IV), a near-classic that innovates on an urban backdrop with phenomenal results. Parades's Foreign Tapes is also an impressive record, exploring a variety of alternative and indie subgenres while coming off as a natural exploration rather than some iffy "try hard." (Plus it sounds like Radiohead at points!!!) And yeah, The Tallest Man On Earth released a new record. As if that wasn't hyped enough.
This is what summer was supposed to be. Instead, we have drab simplicity and poor results, either by way of being far too ordinary, or far too... well... terrible (i.e. A Feast for Crows). Without these, summer would be the domineering force driving us into the depths of despair. Next year though... I have not the mind inhumane enough to try to imagine that.