A Kvltist's Guide To Wintry Putrid Filth

Since the winter months open up so many doors to those of us like myself who aren't the slightest bit turned off by no-fi releases churned from Satanists confined to their isolated baseme-- I mean chunk of sacrilegous doomplace, I've decided to look through a bunch of my wintry no-fi records with grim covers and grim names as to prescribe you all with ultimate grimness and funny band names in your kvlt-land: en hiver as the kvlt Les Legions Noire would say. We salute you, lonely French Satanists, with this quote:

"We are Black Legions of Satan, we are the immortal warriors of Black imperial blood. We are here to pervert Christian worms and they shall face the Black holocaust. It's near!"
-Vlad Tepes

First up, Zoät•Aon's The Triplex Bestial, a dark ambient release from the isolated and very grimdark country of Finland. With such terrifying numbers as the eight-minute long dark/ritual ambient masterpiece "The Phantom Root," Zoät•Aon proves that you need not be heavy with blustering grimstortion to put forth that bleak, misanthropic and dark as batshit atmosphere. Even though it's ambient, spirits still rush towards you like nature's pissed off stream of Cthulu's dark prowess coming to engulf your soul. Odin will be there to pick up the pieces and summon the most haunting sounds from the chandelier of Fuck Forgiveness.

Next up we have Belketre's Ambre Zuèrkl Vuorhdrévarvtre, which proves that regardless of how many timbral soundscapes you can make that sound terrifying as fuck, coated in gloom and doom, there's always a place for lo-fi garage-y black metal with feedback and pulsating punk rhythms. A decent yet generic-as-fuck record from one of Les Legions Noire's most famous outfits.

And finally, for today we have the punk-as-fuck Death Church, another unhinged and somber effort by Rudimentary Peni. Here the outfit's insanity is secured with trippy, spastic and dark anarcho-punk. Beefy as fuck and expansive on the conventions of all sorts of punk and rock music. Oh it's also got that old death metal-style production which makes it pretty wintry and kvlty and somber. One of the outfit's most accessible albums even though it's still really batshit insane, and a very nice way to end a list of albums with black-and-white covers.

Did You Know?

Batman
Batman says... "The White Stripes are from Detroit, but they are much bigger in England than the US."

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